At some point the claims you make become unimportant.
They go from unbelievable to average and expected.
Once upon a time a supermarket was just that; more super and special than the other places you could buy food. Now it's just a supermarket.
For a few weeks we clicked on the links that took us to something unbelievable if we watched it till then end, now we know it's just a way of getting us to watch something quite believable and mostly unexceptional.
The title of best in the business can only belong to one business.
Being different in that you really care doesn't mean anything if everyone else says the same thing.

The world is full of businesses that are the first, the best, the never seen before....
If you are going to make the claim then best you follow through
We've seen it all before.

Look I know this is a business blog but frankly, as the supermarket can sell life insurance I don't think it's me you should be judging.
Besides, the giving of well meaning but essentially ill informed and condescending parenting advice is a time honoured tradition so why not join in (although to be fair all the advice I am giving is well informed and mostly not condescending at all babe xx).
Also, my own offspring have made it to 14 and 16 with all the important body parts they started off with and s not totally f$%^&@d up yet.

So allow me to share my top ten tips for parenting teenagers.

1) Don't call your child during french to ask whether they would like the princess or the cute puppy tissues. The teachers don't like it when students take calls during lessons.

2) It is generally frowned upon when you take a date to senior prize giving.

3) When your offspring suddenly decide selected items in your wardrobe are cool enough to borrow don't think this makes YOU somehow cool. You aren't. You are the most embarrassing and uncool parent ever to have existed and how you EVER managed to give birth to such a style icon is, and will always be, a mystery.

4) Learn how to pronounce hyperbole properly before your child reaches NCEA level 1. 

5) Cease using hyperbole in any conversation before your child starts NCEA level 1.

6) Don't ever dare to suggest your child is perhaps, maybe using hyperbole. Teenagers have actually died from lack of a new red lipstick or the iPhone 5. 

7) The Vamps song Cecilia is an original recording. Any similarity to the Simon and Garfunkel song with the same tune and lyrics is a coincidence.

8) All parents have history. If it's not on the internet or your permanent record it's ok to lie about it.

9) Never say vagina in a loud voice in Bunnings or any other retail outlet.

10) Any loss of vision caused by sighting you naked is temporary. When they scream "I'm blind, I'm blind" they are exaggerating. They can still see shapes and primary colours.

You're Welcome.

I'm not going to wait until a moment when I am unhappy to realise I am happy now,
I'm not going to wait for a time when I don't have enough money to realise I've got enough now,
I'm not going to wait until I have some bad luck until I enjoy how lucky I really am right now,
I'm not going to wait until I'm bad at something to realise- Heck! I did something good today,
I'm not going to wait until I make a huge mistake to give myself credit for getting it right this morning.
I'm not going to wait until I have so little that I appreciate the smallest thing to realise how thankful I am now

I'm not going to wait until a moment when I am more happy to realise I am happy now,
I'm not going to wait for a time when I have more money to realise I've got enough now,
I'm not going to wait until I have some awesome life changing luck until I enjoy how lucky I really am right now,
I'm not going to wait until I'm the best at something to realise- Heck! I'm good today,
I'm not going to wait until I get it bang on perfect give myself credit for getting it right this morning.
I'm not going to wait until I have so much that I forget to appreciate for the small things to realise how thankful I am now.

Don't do it.
Don't step out of your comfort zone.
Don't  learn new things.
Don't change your mind.
Don't volunteer to change the world.
Don't smile or make an offer to help someone who can't help you back.
Don't invest unless there is a guaranteed outcome.
Don't question authority.
Don't worry about the problems on the other side of the world.
Don't take a chance.
Don't try.

Leave that hard stuff for someone else who is 
better than you,
richer than you,
smarter than you.

They've got it covered- right?

It's never too late to stop:
doing shit work,
making lame excuses,
creating problems,
putting off what needs to be done,
investing in drama,
accepting average,
generating mediocrity.

NEVER TOO LATE.

Starting today is not too late,
neither is tomorrow,
or next Tuesday,
or August 2015,
or 21st July 2000 and freakin 22.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.

"they are in it for the money".
Probably true.
Money is an awesome thing to have, it buys things, it pays for food, and shelter and most likely the device you are reading this blog on.
Making money is a good way of having money.
Working is a good way of making money.
Having a business is a good way of working.
Changing lives and contributing to the world is a good way to run a business.

Unless you have a source of money that does not require you to generate any income the fact is you will have to spend a fair bit of your time making money.

Hopefully you will be able to do good at the same time, create value, change lives, be happy, contribute BUT you will need to make money.

Therefore it is fair to say we are all in it for the money.

So why is it an insult to be "in it for the money".

By default most people would prefer to get success with no effort.
If you are promising results your starting point for bargaining is 0% trust and a willingness to contribute 0% effort, regardless of what results you promise.
0% trust + 0% effort = 0% results
The key to results
0% trust + 100% promise of results + 0% effort = 0% results
The most constructive way of increasing a person's willingness to increase their effort is to first increase their trust in you.
100% trust + 100% effort = 100% results

Diet pills and get rich quick schemes work on low trust but no effort and a promise of results- you don't.

If you are planning a sales pitch based on results first make sure you have trust.

You will be criticised.
You will be criticised for what you do, who you are, how you speak, how you act.
And there is no doubt that to some you will be found lacking.

You will be criticised if you stand up and speak for your values
and when you stay quiet.
You will be criticised if you succeed
and when you fail.
You will be criticised for perfect spelling 
and when you put the comma in the wrong place.
You will be criticised for working late
and finishing early.
You will be criticised for being too thin
and for being too fat
You will be criticised for doing too much
and for doing not nearly enough.

The bad news is that there is nothing you can do to make it go away.
The bad news is that there is nothing you can do that will stop this happening.

The good news is that there is nothing you can do to make it go away.
The good news is that there is nothing you can do that will stop this happening.

So do what you want, make yourself happy, live your dream, do it your way.
Because the best news when it comes to being criticised?
You don't have to listen!

I love cemeteries.
People often think of a cemetery as a place of sadness and loss.
But for every headstone in a cemetery there is a person who lived a life and was loved.
For every headstone in a cemetery there is at someone who cared enough to say goodbye.
For every headstone in the cemetery there are people alive today who are living and loving and people who will be living and loving long after we are gone.
It's not a place of sadness, it's a place of hope.

One group of people get very frustrated when they send an email, make an enquiry, make a request or leave a message at how LONG it takes for the receiver to respond.

One group of people get very frustrated when they get an email, receive an enquiry, get presented with a request or get left a message at how QUICKLY the sender expects you to respond.

Which group is wrong?
Which group is right?
Why is that most people in one group are also in the other?
What can we do about it?