It's a fact, you can't change a fact.
Facts just are.
It is what it is, no sugar coating, no ifs buts and maybes.
We all get rain.
If we stand in it we get wet.
If your washing is out rain is annoying.
If your computer is on the deck it's downright frustrating.
If you are a witch it's certain death.
If you are safely tucked up in bed it's like music.
If you are have to get from the car to the supermarket it's going to make you swear.
If you are running it might make you smile.
If you are in a drought it might save your life.
It's just rain right? Wet, from the sky.
It's a fact.
Sometimes really good work happens when you step up, engage, take part and give others the benefit of your experience.
Things happen faster
Mistakes are less likely to happen
You know how it's done.
But sometimes the best work is done when you step back, say nothing, sit back and give others the benefit of learning things for themselves.
Things happen slower
Things get done differently
Just because you are the best person to do the job doesn't mean you are the only person able to do the job.
Sometimes the job isn't what you think it is at all. Find out.
At some point the claims you make become unimportant.
They go from unbelievable to average and expected.
Once upon a time a supermarket was just that; more super and special than the other places you could buy food. Now it's just a supermarket.
For a few weeks we clicked on the links that took us to something unbelievable if we watched it till then end, now we know it's just a way of getting us to watch something quite believable and mostly unexceptional.
The title of best in the business can only belong to one business.
Being different in that you really care doesn't mean anything if everyone else says the same thing.
The world is full of businesses that are the first, the best, the never seen before....
If you are going to make the claim then best you follow through
We've seen it all before.
Look I know this is a business blog but frankly, as the supermarket can sell life insurance I don't think it's me you should be judging.
Besides, the giving of well meaning but essentially ill informed and condescending parenting advice is a time honoured tradition so why not join in (although to be fair all the advice I am giving is well informed and mostly not condescending at all babe xx).
Also, my own offspring have made it to 14 and 16 with all the important body parts they started off with and s not totally f$%^&@d up yet.
So allow me to share my top ten tips for parenting teenagers.
1) Don't call your child during french to ask whether they would like the princess or the cute puppy tissues. The teachers don't like it when students take calls during lessons.
2) It is generally frowned upon when you take a date to senior prize giving.
3) When your offspring suddenly decide selected items in your wardrobe are cool enough to borrow don't think this makes YOU somehow cool. You aren't. You are the most embarrassing and uncool parent ever to have existed and how you EVER managed to give birth to such a style icon is, and will always be, a mystery.
4) Learn how to pronounce hyperbole properly before your child reaches NCEA level 1.
5) Cease using hyperbole in any conversation before your child starts NCEA level 1.
6) Don't ever dare to suggest your child is perhaps, maybe using hyperbole. Teenagers have actually died from lack of a new red lipstick or the iPhone 5.
7) The Vamps song Cecilia is an original recording. Any similarity to the Simon and Garfunkel song with the same tune and lyrics is a coincidence.
8) All parents have history. If it's not on the internet or your permanent record it's ok to lie about it.
9) Never say vagina in a loud voice in Bunnings or any other retail outlet.
10) Any loss of vision caused by sighting you naked is temporary. When they scream "I'm blind, I'm blind" they are exaggerating. They can still see shapes and primary colours.
Julz Darroch at bigredball