An old article I wrote, which I turned into a letter for my father.
He read it a few years ago.. you can read it now
"Some dads climb mountains, some dads run marathons, some dads have made a million dollars.
My Dad has done none of these things.
I watch the ads for Father’s Day gift perfection and laugh; my Dad doesn’t play sport, build things, or use the latest technology.
It got me thinking Dad,
We hear so much about the perfect Dads; they tell funny jokes at our weddings, drive flash cars and tell us they love us whenever they see us. We see them on the TV and our friends share anecdotes. They’re not you.
You have never received much applause have you?
Not too many thank you’s for the middle of the night picks ups when I was a wayward teenager, for the quiet behind the scenes work that is hardly noticed. Dad, I noticed.
My dad is David Darroch, he ran a hardware shop in Tawa, he’s a quiet man, he doesn’t make a fuss or make a lot of noise. This is why I love him.
My dad is my hero.
He went to all my school camps, when I was an angst teenager he didn’t try to make me behave, I knew he loved me through his actions.
The greatest piece of advice I ever received was from my Dad, he told me ‘the only way to beat the system is from within’. He was saying that I could BE the system, I had the power to change the world.
Men like my Dad were ahead of their time, they didn’t do new age parenting, it didn’t exist in the 70’s! But he taught me through example, the value of a good day’s work, the value of family.
Dad- Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for my life. Thank you for being my dad."
David Darroch 07/11/1943- 26/09/2015
You have nothing to prove to us
No superhero powers required on demand
there's no need to be better, despite feeling worse
It's okay to tell us you are not managing
Or don't feel like being perfect
You don't need to convince anyone here
You are achieving... despite the odds
It's fine to not be fine
No one is counting good girl points
Or marking you down for not trying hard enough
There's no celebration out here that you are being hard on yourself
But we're not you.
And what really matters is the only person who is not on your side is you.
It's only when you get something you want
That you can truly decide whether you actually want it at all.
And if you decide you don't want it
It's ok to give it back and go looking for something else you want
Just remember that just because you don't want it doesn't mean it's not worthwhile
So rather than tossing it to one side in a heap and trampling on it.
Wrap it with care and leave it in a safe place for someone else.
Julz Darroch at bigredball